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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Slow, ominous vibes – like Melancholia, ya know? That movie’s my jam, total mindfuck. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says. Erotic-massage tho, it’s the opposite – pure bliss, man. I’m a merchandiser, I see the goods. This ain’t just rubbin oil on some schmuck. It’s art, a freakin ritual! Little known fact – ancient Greeks did this shit. Called it “anatripsis,” fancy huh? Bet they didn’t have neon signs like today.

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Finally, my client shows up, looking all flustered. Turns out he got lost on the way. I mean, it’s Veldhoven, not Amsterdam! How do you get lost? Anyway, we dive into the numbers, and I’m trying to keep my cool. But then he starts questioning my calculations. Like, excuse me? I’m the accountant here! I’m about to lose it.

White Family Funeral Home