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About Almere

So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ fries at the drive-thru. Takes guts, and a lil’ know-how. Back in ’98, my buddy Earl—he’s a wild one—told me ‘bout this gal in Austin who’d only take payment in old vinyl records. Weird, right? Swear to God, she had a stack of Elvis 45s taller’n me! Little known fact: some of ‘em got quirks like that. Makes ya wonder what’s runnin’ through their heads. “Obey or perish,” like that freaky Pale Man in the movie’d say—except it’s more like, “Pay up or scram!”

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Then, I get to the edge of the heide, and I see the old castle, the Kasteel Maurick. It’s stunning! I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of them accidentally sends it flying right at me. I duck just in time, but man, my heart was racing! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They’re fearless.

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