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About Almere

I stroll up, all cool, sayin’, “Hey, babe, what’s da deal?” She’s smirkin’, like she’s seen a hundred Arnolds before, and I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da jungle, baby!” Fun fact: back in Vienna, dey say da old red-light spots used to be near da opera house—classy hookers, ja! Ain’t dat nuts? Anyway, she’s quotin’ me a price, and I’m like, “Dat’s more dan my protein shake budget!” Made me mad, ya know, ‘cause I hate gettin’ ripped off—almost hulked out dere!

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After that mini heart attack, I grab my strawberries and head to the park. It’s the Zuidwijk Park, and it’s beautiful. I plop down on a bench, munching on my strawberries, feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me, all excited. I’m like, “Aww, hey buddy!” But then it jumps on me, and I’m covered in mud. Great. Just great.

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