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Rarrgh! Me, I’m picturin’ it now—some dude in a toga, gettin’ kneaded like dough, prolly smelled like olives and regret. Kinda like that line from “Leviathan”—“Everything’s rotten, even the air.” Replace air with massage oil, and boom, same vibe! I got mad once, tho—went to this sketchy joint, paid 50 bucks, and the “masseuse” barely touched me! Rarrgh! Felt like a scam, hands colder than a Hoth winter. But then, last month—holy furballs—found this spot downtown, total game-changer. Warm hands, dim lights, got me purrin’ like a Wookiee on Endor. Made me happy, real happy—tension gone, like “poof,” ya know?

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After the aquarium, we hit up this little café on the corner of Torggata. I ordered a cinnamon bun, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I was in my happy place, munching away, when Lars starts talking about his new project. He’s all excited, and I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why can’t I have that kind of passion?”

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