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About Bergen

I got into it once—total accident! Buddy dragged me to this shady joint—thought it was just back rubs, nah! Dim lights, some chick whisperin’—I’m like, “Whoa, this ain’t chiropractor shit!” Felt like a king, tho—happy as hell! But then—bam—price tag hit. $200? Pissed me off! Coulda bought pizza for a month! Still, that touch? Smoothest ever—like, little known fact, ancient Romans did this crap too! Called it “luxuria”—fancy, huh?

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Lars. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the new park by the river!” I’m like, “Lars, I’m in crisis mode here!” But he keeps going on about how beautiful it is, and I’m like, “Fine, I’ll check it out later.”

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