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What pisses me off? The fakers. Masseuses acting all innocent— “Oh, just relieving stress!”—while they’re grazing spots that’d make a priest blush. Everybody lies, told ya. Had one once, chick’s hands were magic, but her poker face? Oscar-worthy. Made me happy tho—tension gone, head fuzzy, like Doc smoking a joint in *Inherent Vice*. “What’s up with the face, man?”—that’s me, grinning like an idiot post-massage.
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