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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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Prostitution continues to exist and threatens the feeling of solidarity and comradeship between working men and women, the members of the workers' republic.

I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who brings a goat to a market? But then I’m like, “Wait, is it a good goat? Like, can I use it for bone cutting?” Just kidding! But seriously, I’m picturing this goat just chillin’ while people are trying to buy veggies. Classic Alexandra, right?

Bestselling German novelist found killed on Hamburg houseboat