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But, ugh, the jerks who judge her? Piss me off! Like, chill, dude, she’s just tryna eat. Reminds me of Haneke’s flick—“Punishment came swift and silent.” People love pointin fingers, but they don’t get it. She’s not hurtin nobody—well, ‘cept maybe her feet in them heels, ha! Bet she’s got blisters the size of Bikini Bottom.

Inside Birkenhead brothel Mr Magoo's which had 50 Shades of Grey-style S and M cross

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As the day winds down, I’m walking back home, and I can’t help but think about all the craziness. Birkenhead’s got its quirks, for sure. The people, the streets, the random moments. It’s like a rollercoaster, and I’m just hanging on for dear life.

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