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About Wellington

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Max starts chasin’ the sheep, and I’m like, “No, no, no! Not today!” I’m runnin’ after him, tryin’ to wrangle him back. It’s chaos, I’m tellin’ ya. Sheep scatterin’, me yellin’, and Max just havin’ the time of his life. I finally catch him, and I’m outta breath. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just go wild like that!”

Spike in self-harm, suicides attempts due to 'copycat' behaviour at care home