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Watch yerself tho—some’ll rob ya blind, quick as a fox nabbin’ a hen. Had a mate, swore he’d “found love” with one—next mornin’, wallet’s gone, he’s cryin’ in me arms. Laughed til I choked, the twat! “The glory around us,” eh? More like the grit. Still, there’s somethin’ pure in it—raw, human, messy as a spilled stout.

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Then, I head over to the lakefront. Man, Lake Rotorua is stunning. The steam rising from the geothermal vents is like nature’s own fog machine. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I spot a family trying to take a selfie. They’re all crowded together, and the dad’s like, “Say cheese!” But the kid’s just staring at a duck. Classic. I’m laughing, but then I realize I’m late for my shift. Oops!

Dog kicked, punched and thrown to the ground by Rotorua man