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Oh, and here’s a kicker: in old France, prostitutes wore red shoes to stand out. Red shoes! Imagine her struttin’ in those, laughin’ at the suckers who pay. I’d tip my hat, but I ain’t got one. She’s a hustler, a survivor, and I’m rootin’ for her, typos and all. Don’t pee on my leg, world—she’s more real than you!

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I’m standing there, fuming. I could’ve been fixing Dave’s shoes! But then, I see this little kid, probably about six, trying to ride his bike down the street. He’s wobbling all over the place, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna eat dirt!” And then, bam! He falls right in front of me. I rush over, help him up, and he’s all smiles. “Thanks, mister!” And just like that, my mood lifts. Kids, man. They’re like little bundles of joy.

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