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Oi, you muppet! Prostitutes, yeah? Been thinkin’ bout em lately—bloody hell, what a world! Like in *The New World*, “Here’s the stirrin’ of somethin’ new,” but nah, it’s old as dirt. Oldest job, innit? Some tart sellin’ her bits—makes me wanna scream, “Idiot sandwich!” at the punters. Imagine Pocahontas, all pure and that, then bam—some geezer offers her a fiver to shag behind the trees. Nah, mate, she’d slap him silly!

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After that, I decide to check out Caroline Bay. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The beach, the waves, the whole vibe. I’m just chilling, soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, what the heck?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, as this bird flies off with my lunch. I’m pretty sure it was laughing at me. I mean, who knew seagulls had such a sense of humor?

Former office manager admits fraud charges