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I spot her – legs like a weapon, leanin on a lamppost. She’s got that *White Material* edge, y’know? Like she’s seen shit, lived it, could gut you with a stare. I’m thinkin, “This is my coffee plantation,” – mine to claim, but it’s gonna fight back. I saunter over, all cocky, but my heart’s racin – what if she’s a cop? What if she’s packin? Paranoid much, Edna? Chill, babe.

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On the way back, I’m feeling all pumped, right? But then I see this sign on the side of the road. “Wanaka Beerworks.” My brain goes, “YES!” I swing by, and it’s a total vibe. I grab a cold one, and the bartender’s this cool chick who tells me about their brews. I’m like, “I’ll take one of everything!” Just kidding, I’m not made of money. But I do get a tasting paddle. Best decision ever!

Council weighs up third Woolworths for Wānaka