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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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Then, I see this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to cross the street at the lights on Epuni St. She’s takin’ her sweet time, and I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, lady, the light’s gonna change!” But she’s just strollin’ like she’s got all day. I can’t help but chuckle.

Is it time for Epuni School to be renamed Te Puni?