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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute! I’m sittin’ here, mad as a hornet, thinkin’ ‘bout how folks be sneakin’ round like in *Children of Men*. You know, “the world’s gone mad, Kee!”—that’s what I’m hollerin’! Ain’t nobody got time for this mess, but here we go. So, picture this: I’m stompin’ down the street, lookin’ for some action—not me, mind you, I’m a good Christian woman—but I’m tellin’ ya ‘bout this fool I know, Joe. He’s out there, tryna find a prostitute like it’s a dang scavenger hunt!

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

Third Abbott St fire in three weeks