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About Hastings

Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, hates prostitutes, we does! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them CIA spooks huntin’ bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*. “We can’t run from the truth!” they says in the flick, but prostitutes? They run from it daily, hidin’ behind fake smiles and cheap perfume. Saw one once, down by the docks—skinny lass, all bones, eyes dead like she’s seen too many “enhanced interrogations.” Made me mad, it did! Why’s she gotta sell herself? World’s cruel, precious, crueler than a waterboardin’ session.

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After that drama, I decided to hit up the Remuera Village. It’s got all these cute shops, and I’m a sucker for a good thrift store. Found this dope vintage jacket. I mean, it’s like it was made for me! But then, I realized I left my wallet at home. Ugh! Classic me, right?

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