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But yo, when it works? Fuckin’ fire. Hooked up with this chick once—total vibe, no strings, just raw. “Blood is the life,” Adam’d say—sex-dating’s got that pulse, that rush. Little secret tho—back in the 90s, pre-Tinder, folks used newspaper ads for this shit. “SWM seeks SWF for fun”—wild, right? Blew my mind when I found that out. Grandpa was prolly a freak!

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I grab a ladder from the office (don’t ask why we have a ladder) and head out. The whole team follows me, still bickering about the donut. We get to the tree, and there’s this fluffy little furball just chilling up there. I’m like, “C’mon, kitty!” But it’s not budging.

Man brutally attacked with samurai sword in Poland