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Hey, buddy, let’s talk erotic massage, Bob Ross style! Happy little trees, man, we’re diving into something wild, soothing, and, yeah, a bit spicy. First off, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s an art, like painting a sunset with your fingers. I’m stoked about this, but also, like, whoa, some folks get it so wrong, it makes me wanna scream—but I won’t, ‘cause I promised never to yell after the Air Force days. Happy little accidents, right?

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Then, we hit ul. Krakowska, and it’s packed! Cars everywhere, people walking, and I’m just praying we don’t get stuck. But guess what? We do! I’m sitting there, and I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s moving slower than molasses, and I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I got places to be!” But she’s just taking her sweet time, and I’m losing it.

Monroe High School Class of 2015