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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Total darkness. People start freaking out, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “This is it. This is how I die in Ilza.” But then, someone pulls out their phone, and we all start using the flashlights. It turned into this weird dance party in the dark. I mean, who knew a blackout could be so fun?

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