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Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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After class, I decide to explore a bit. I wander down ul. Słowackiego, and it’s beautiful. The old buildings, the vibe, it’s all so picturesque. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. Then I stumble upon this little market. Fresh veggies, homemade pierogi, and oh man, the smell! I’m in heaven. I grab some pierogi, and they’re the best I’ve ever had. Like, I could marry these dumplings.

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