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I mean, who doesn’t wanna be rubbed down like a freakin’ king? It’s all bout that sensory overload—skin on skin, baby! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather ya with olive oil and call it “therapeutic.” Therapeutic my ass—those toga-wearin’ pervs just wanted a good time! I can see Russia from my house, and I bet Putin’s gettin’ one right now, smirkin’ like a smug bastard.

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So, I’m tryin’ to sell my pork, right? And this guy comes up, all serious. He’s like, “I want the best cut.” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s all good! Just pick one!” But he’s so picky, it’s like he’s choosing a spouse or somethin’. I’m about to lose it, but then he finally picks a piece. Thank goodness!

Obituary of Peter Nick Kobylka | Yorkton