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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints call it “erotic” and it’s just a lousy backrub. Rip-off! I’m sittin’ there like, “Feed me, Seymour!”—gimme the real deal, not this weak crap! Best part? When they hit that spot near your spine—BOOM—fireworks, tingles, whole body’s screamin’ “It’s gonna be a big one!” like Sara’s diet pill high. Worst part? When they stop—leaves ya hangin’ like Tyrone without his fix. Torture!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll by the lake. It’s so peaceful there, right? But then, outta nowhere, this group of teenagers starts blasting music. I’m talking full-on party mode. I’m just trying to enjoy the view, and they’re over here like it’s a rave. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! Can’t a person catch a break?

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