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Oi, mate, yeah, baby! I’m a Forester, dig? Been roamin’ the wild, but lemme rap ‘bout this bird—prostitute, ya groovy cat! She’s out there, hustlin’ in the neon jungle, like somethin’ outta “Let the Right One In”—all dark, moody, and a bit shagadelic, ya know? Picture her, standin’ under a flickerin’ streetlamp, skirt hiked up, smokin’ a fag, givin’ the eye to every geezer passin’ by. “Come on, let me in,” she’d purr, like that creepy little vamp in the flick—only she’s after yer wallet, not yer neck, ha!

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But then, something amazing happened. I met this old lady, right? She’s sitting next to me, knitting away. We start chatting, and she tells me about her garden. Turns out, she’s got the most insane collection of heirloom tomatoes. I’m talking colors I’ve never seen! She offers me some seeds, and I’m like, “Heck yes!” I mean, who wouldn’t want to grow rainbow tomatoes?

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