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Oh, and this one time—web search popped a story: escort saved a guy from jumpin off a bridge! True hero shit, got me all mushy. Joy’d say, “You’re my shiny gold star!” and I’d nod, like, yep, escort can be deep, man. Still, I’m side-eyein the fakes—too many posers out there.

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So, I finish up with Mr. Lion Hair, and he leaves lookin’ fresh. But then, the next guy comes in. This dude’s got a beard that could house a family of squirrels. I’m not even kidding. I’m tryin’ to trim it, and he’s just sittin’ there, munchin’ on a sandwich. Like, really? You’re gonna eat while I’m wielding scissors? I’m half-expecting a squirrel to pop out and ask for a bite.

"Philadelphi II": Netanyahu reveals new plans for Morag corridor