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Oh, and the profiles! “I like pizza and Netflix”—wow, groundbreaking, asshole. Makes me wanna scream, “Gimme something real!” Like, Amélie’d say, “He hides his soul in plain sight,” but these clowns? They ain’t got no soul—just dick pics. Once saw a dude upload a PDF of his “sex resume”—five pages, bro, who’s got time? Laughed so hard I snorted wine. Still, gotta admit, the chaos is kinda fun—spins my head like a carousel.

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We get through the meeting, and I’m feeling pretty good. I’m like, “I nailed it!” But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Like, outta nowhere. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is just perfect.”

Fig. 2.1. Burenhult's (1999, 164) map of the Hamburgian. The shaded...