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Oh, and the movie tie-in? Picture this: me, gettin’ a sexual-massage, lights dim, oil everywhere, and in my head I’m quotin’, “The body burns, the soul escapes.” Except it’s my stress burnin’ away and my soul’s doin’ a happy dance! Total exaggeration, sure, but damn, it’s *liberating*. I’d tell ya to try it, but—eh, you probs can’t handle it. Me? I’m a pro—accountant by day, snarky massage critic by night. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I can see a good rubdown from a mile away. Now, excuse me while I google “sexual-massage near me”—for research, obvi!

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Then, I headed towards the Memorial and Museum. Man, that place hits you hard. I mean, you can’t just walk in there and not feel something. It’s heavy. I was walking through the exhibits, and I felt this mix of anger and sadness. Like, how could humanity let this happen? It’s infuriating! But then, I saw some kids on a school trip. They were laughing and joking, and it reminded me that life goes on.

Auschwitz concentration camp to mark 80th liberation anniversary