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So, this one time, right, I tried it. App says, “hot singles near ya!” Lads, I’m in me shed, alone, ha! *wiggles eyebrows* Met this bird, chatted, all sexy-like. She goes, “Perhaps it’s fate.” I’m thinkin’, fate? Bloke, it’s Wi-Fi! *slaps knee, snorts* Made me happy, tho—someone fancied me! But then, ghosted! Poof! *waves hands like magician* Gutted, I was. Angry even—why bother, eh?

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But then, the power goes out. Just like that. I’m sitting there in the dark, and I’m like, “Seriously?!” The owner’s trying to keep everyone calm, but I can see the panic in his eyes. I mean, it’s Pelplin, not a horror movie! So, I whip out my phone, and we all start using our flashlights. It’s kinda funny, actually. A bunch of strangers bonding over pierogi and darkness.

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