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About Poznan

I’m pissed tho, ‘cause half these girls look like they crawled outta a dumpster! Smell like Butters’ gym socks—ugh, gag me! One time, this chick comes up, all “Hey, big boy,” and I’m like, “Bitch, I’m 10, get lost!” Reminds me of Solomon screamin’, “I am a free man!”—yeah, free from your nasty ass! I ain’t payin’ for that! Surprised me how bold they get—zero shame, man!

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First off, I hit up ul. Wrocławska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that little café, “Kawa na Wschód.” Best espresso in town! But guess what? They ran out of my fave blend. Like, are you kidding me? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, how do you run out of coffee? It’s like a bakery running out of bread! Ugh.