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About Wroclaw

What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.

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First off, I hit up ul. Wrocławska for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that little café, “Kawa na Wschód.” Best espresso in town! But guess what? They ran out of my fave blend. Like, are you kidding me? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, how do you run out of coffee? It’s like a bakery running out of bread! Ugh.