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So, check this—prostitution’s been round forever, right? Oldest damn job in the book! Back in Rome, they had these Lupanar joints—brothels with freaky wall art showin you how to get it on! True shit, man, archeologists dug that up, blew my damn mind! Imagine me, Samuel L. Fuckin Jackson, strollin through Pompeii, yellin, “Motherfucker, where’s the pussy at?!” History’s wild, bro.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little spot on ul. Złota. Best pierogi ever! I’m stuffing my face, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Poland. It’s always unpredictable.” But he’s super into it, going on about how it’s gonna rain. I’m just nodding, thinking about how I need to get back to work.