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So, I’m picturin’ this chick, let’s call her Candy—total cliché, I know. She’s struttin’ down some grimy street, heels clickin’, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s got guts!” Did ya know, back in the day, like ancient Rome times, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? True story! Stand out from the “good girls,” I guess. Kinda badass, right? Makes me happy thinkin’ they owned it—blonde and proud!

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park by the San River. Beautiful spot, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “This is it, life is good.” But then, outta nowhere, a kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my new kicks! Like, seriously?! I was fuming. I mean, who lets their kid ride like a maniac?

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