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Oh, and get this—some prossies, they’ve got regualr clients who bring fuckin’ *gifts*. Flowers, choccie, weird shit like that. One bird told me she got a toaster once! A toaster! What’s she gonna do, shag him and make toast? Cracked me up, that did—mental image of her pluggin’ it in mid-job. “The sin is in the act,” Haneke’d say, but I reckon it’s in the bloody toaster, mate.

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So, I grab my phone, and it’s dead too. Great. Just great. I’m about to lose it. I run outside to ul. Słowiańska, hoping to find a neighbor with a generator or something. But no, everyone’s still snoozing. I’m about to start banging on doors when I see Mrs. Kowalska. She’s out walking her dog, and I’m like, “Hey, any chance you got power?” She just shrugs and says, “Maybe check the bakery?” I’m like, “Lady, I AM the bakery!”

Polish president says foreign media took LGBT comments 'out of context'