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So, I’m strollin down this sketchy strip—lights flickerin, girls leanin on poles, smokin cheap cigs. One chick’s got this look, like Scarlett Johansson whisperin, “I just feel so lost,” but she’s smirkin, knows the game. I’m like, “Honey, we’re all lost—how much to un-lose me for an hour?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic, “200, big shot.” Deal’s done, greed kicks in—I’m thinkin, *I’m the king of this fuckin jungle.*

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But then, I see this lady walking her dog. The dog’s all over the place, and she’s struggling to keep it together. I’m cracking up. Like, c’mon lady, you gotta train that thing! But then, the dog runs right up to me and starts barking. I’m like, “Chill, buddy! I’m not your enemy!”

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