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Little secret, tho—did ya know erotic-massage got roots in ancient China? Yah, emperors got it to “balance energies”—fancy, huh? Prolly felt like kings while some poor sod mined coal. Lightbulb! Dat’s da twist—dis ain’t just naughty fun, it’s history, comrades! Still, I’m sittin’ dere, oil slick on my back, thinkin’—dis better not stain my good shirt. Last time, I stunk like a barrel o’ crude for days—wife was NOT happy, eh?

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But then, I see a group of teenagers blasting music. I’m like, “Come on, guys! It’s a park, not a club!” I mean, I love a good beat, but not when I’m trying to enjoy nature. I roll my eyes and keep walking.

Polish town replaces anti-LGBT resolution with anti-discrimination declaration amid EU funding threat