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So, I got this sesh once, right? Masseuse was a goddess—tiny, fierce, hands like magic. I’m laying there, all “ooh, ahh,” and she’s kneading my back like dough. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this naked—called it *apotherapy*. Wild, huh? Bet they didn’t have lavender oil tho. Made me happy, like, FINALLY, someone gets it! But then—ugh—she talked! Mid-massage! “How’s work?” Bitch, shut up! Ruined the mood, I was pissed. No capes, no chit-chat, just rub!

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So, I’m chillin’ at my favorite café on ul. Krakowska, sippin’ on some strong coffee. I mean, like, the kind that makes your heart race. I’m just vibin’, thinking about my next gig at the Tarnowski Theatre. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my bandmate, totally freaking out. “Dude, the venue double-booked us!” Like, seriously? Who does that? I’m ready to throw my coffee at the wall.

Donald Tarnow Obituary (2025) - South Bend, IN - La Porte County Herald-Dispatch