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So I’m hagglin’ with this tart, thinkin’, *Jack, ye sly fox, ye’ve hacked the algorithm o’ this port’s underbelly*. “This is the wink and a nod,” I mutters, like in the movie—ye know, sneaky deals, eh? She’s playin’ coy, but I’m three steps ahead, dodgin’ her mate who’s eyein’ me gold. “Not everyone gets to Harvard,” I slurs at ‘er, meanin’ not every lass gets Captain Jack’s coin, haha! She laughs—prolly thinks I’m daft, but I’m just drunk ‘n’ clever.

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady walks in. She’s got a cane and a fierce look. She starts yelling about how the coffee’s too hot. I mean, c’mon, lady! It’s coffee! It’s supposed to be hot! I’m trying to enjoy my moment, and she’s ruining it. I’m like, “Chill, grandma!” But she just glares at me. I swear, I thought she was gonna throw her cane at me.

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