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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, alright? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? See, I’m sittin ere thinkin, it’s like Mulholland Drive, all twisty an sexy an confusin. Ya got them hands slidin over ya, oil everywhere, an yer like, “What’s my name? Who am I?” – straight outta that Lynch flick, ya know? “The pinky ring… it’s a clue!” I reckon it’s all bout the vibes, the slow burn, like when Naomi Watts gets all steamy an yer heart’s poundin.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on ul. 3 Maja. They have the best coffee. I ordered a cappuccino, and while I was waiting, I noticed this cute dog outside. It was just chilling, looking all majestic. I thought, “Man, I need a dog.” But then I remembered I can barely take care of myself. LOL.

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