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But serious, it’s dodgy stuff. Ya gotta watch yer back—cops, pimps, weirdos. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—ice cold, like, “What’s your hurry, babe?” I’m all flustered, thinkin’, “Am I doin’ this wrong?” Total Fran moment—me, the loudmouth, tongue-tied! “The night’s long,” she says, straight outta Ceylan’s script, and I’m like, “Yeah, but my patience ain’t!” HA-HA-HA!

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Tomek. He’s always got the craziest stories. He told me about this wild party last weekend. Apparently, someone tried to DJ with a potato. A potato! I mean, how does that even work? We laughed so hard, I almost spilled my cappuccino.