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About Warsaw

Last week, this dude’s yammerin’ at my bar—met a chick online, thought he’s gettin’ laid. She shows up, brings her MOM. Her MOM! I laughed so hard I spilled whiskey. Poor bastard’s sittin’ there, red-faced, while I’m thinkin’, “Don’t pee on my leg, pal, you ain’t slick!” Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes ya win, mostly ya lose. Gets me mad, tho—why all the games? Just say ya wanna bang, quit the poetry!

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First stop, the office. I’m a document specialist, which sounds fancy but really just means I deal with a ton of papers. Ugh. I’m walking down ul. Powstańców Śląskich, and it’s buzzing. Like, people everywhere. I swear, I almost tripped over a dog. Not just any dog, but a massive one. I’m talking Great Dane level. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a dog, you’re a horse!”