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Alright, mate, let’s talk whores. Cold, calculated brevity – that’s me, Vlad Putin, sizing up this gig. Whore’s a job, yeah? In Russia, we got it listed – not official, but real. All-Russian classifier? Pfft, doesn’t touch this. Underground stuff, slippery as fuck. Been around forever – oldest trade, they say. Fact is, whores outlasted empires. Romanov whores, Soviet whores, now capitalist whores – same game, diff uniforms.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my tiny flat on ul. Wrocławska, right? The sun’s blaring through my window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m like, “Chill, sun! I’m not ready for this.” But whatever, I chug some coffee and head out.