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Folks, lemme tell ya—findin’ a prostitute, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, see, we had this guy, Tommy—shady fella, always whisperin’ ‘bout “ladies of the night.” Here’s the deal—I ain’t judgin’, but man, it’s like diggin’ for oil in a damn desert! Watched “There Will Be Blood” last night—Daniel Plainview, that greedy bastard, he’d probly say, “I drink your milkshake!” to the whole damn red-light district. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—some poor schmuck hagglin’ prices while I’m over here, sippin’ coffee, yellin’ at the TV.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, kicks a soccer ball, and BAM! Right into my guitar! I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?!” I was ready to lose it. But the kid just laughs and runs off. I mean, come on! Kids these days, right?

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