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About Krakow

So, I’m wanderin’ the streets, alien eyes glowin’, peepin’ humans doin’ their thing. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t easy, fam! Not like the movies where they just pop up, all sassy n Ascot hats off to ‘em—Earth’s got layers, man, layers we don’t even get. Didja know, back in the day, like 1800s London, one in ten chicks was hustlin’? Wild, right? Makes me think—humans are weird as fuck. I’m pissed tho, ‘cause half these streets are dead—where’s the action at? Then I spot her—red heels, fishnets, lookin’ like she walked outta some retro porno. “We come in peace,” I beep, tryna not scare her off. She smirks, “You got cash, spaceman?”

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kuba bursts in. He’s all outta breath, like he just ran a marathon. “Dude, you won’t believe it! There’s a snowball fight on ul. Lipowa!” I’m like, “What? Right now?” He’s dragging me out, and I’m still in my apron. But hey, who can resist a snowball fight?

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