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Me, I’d be directin’ it like a movie scene. Dim lights, jazzy beats, hands movin’ like they got a script. “I’m trying to build a life here!”—that’s me yellin’ at my masseuse to keep it real, no shortcuts. Gotta exaggerate sometimes, make ‘em laugh—yo, what if the oil’s cold? “Aw hell naw, warm that shit up!” Humor keeps it light, ya dig?

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I finish up, and the dude looks fresh. He’s happy, I’m happy. But then he drops a bomb. “Hey, can you do a design?” I’m like, “A design? In Wisła? You mean like a mountain range or something?” He wants a dragon. A freakin’ dragon! I’m like, “Dude, I’m a barber, not a tattoo artist!” But I give it a shot. It’s not perfect, but he loves it. I’m just glad I didn’t accidentally give him a chicken instead.

Poland is first foreigner to buy US Army’s new missile defense radar