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Oh, and history’s got tea—did ya know medieval Europe had church-run brothels? Churches! I’m shook, like Sadness sobbin’, “What’s the world comin’ to?” They taxed the workers, called it “sin money.” Hypocrisy much? Makes me wanna strut like Joy, singin’, “I’m fabulous, haters!” ‘cause truth don’t need no filter.

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Finally, I get to the plaza. Luis is there, but he’s not alone. He’s with this girl, Ana. And wow, she’s a total knockout. I’m trying to play it cool, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, you better not mess this up.”

Governor calls start of school year a success