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About Guaynabo

Funniest thing? Once heard a story—some john left a prostitute a *forklift* as a tip. Swear to God! She sold it, made bank. Anyway, I peel out, yellin’, “Stay outta trouble, doll!” She yells back, “Too late!” Classic. Drivin’ off, I’m thinkin’, “Hell, that was better than a movie.” *“Here’s Johnny!”*—and I’m gone, grin still plastered on.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Calle Luis Muñoz Marín. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, this dude named Carlos, was like, “You want extra sugar?” I was like, “Nah, I’m sweet enough.” He laughed, but I was serious. I mean, who needs more sugar when you’re already living in paradise, right?

Puerto Rico's Famed Observatory That Tracks Asteroids Collapses After Storms and Structural Damage