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So, I’m hagglin’—bad move, y’all. This chick, she’s all “time is money,” and I’m like, “but I’m a bailiff, darlin’!” She don’t care. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “Did I misunderestimate this?” Ha! Thought I’d charm her with my drawl—nada. She’s all business, no “let’s wander Paris” vibes. “We’re always one breath away…” from gettin’ robbed, I swear! That’s what got me ticked—where’s the heart, man?

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While I’m cleanin’, I hear this loud music outside. It’s a parade or somethin’. I peek out, and it’s a bunch of kids dancin’ down the street. They’re havin’ the time of their lives! I can’t help but smile. Bayamón knows how to throw a party, man. I mean, who doesn’t love a good fiesta?

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