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So, I tried it once—total shocker! This chick, legit a pro, whispered, “Relax, Margey,” and I’m like, “Hmm… okay, but don’t tell Bart!” Hands slid everywhere—neck, thighs, oof, felt naughty but nice! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with rose petals—fancy, right? Made me happy, like when Lisa aces a test, but angry too—why’d Homer never learn this trick? Stingy bum!

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So, I snuck out during lunch. I mean, who could resist? I got to the food truck, and it was packed! People were everywhere, chattin’ and laughin’. I felt alive! I ordered the al pastor, and let me tell ya, it was a flavor explosion. I was in taco heaven. I even made a new friend in line, this cool guy named Javier. We bonded over our love for food and our mutual hatred for Mondays.

Caribbean region’s largest water testing lab opens in Caguas