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About Mayaguez

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie—cor blimey, it’s a battlefield out there! We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, we shall never surrender to the grim muck of it all! Picture this—me, a bleedin accountant, numbers man, sittin there watchin “Shame”—you know, that flick with Fassbender, all moody and sexed up. “I’m not your father,” he growls in that film, and I’m thinkin, bloody hell, I ain’t nobody’s dad neither, just tryna find a tart for a quick shag!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking about a downpour that could drown a fish. I’m soaked, my paperwork’s ruined, and I’m just standing there, looking like a drowned rat. I can’t even see the mountains anymore! I’m like, “Cayey, why you gotta do me like this?”

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