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Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, stuck ramblin’ bout whores, and you’re off beepin’ somewhere! So, yeah, talkin’ bout whores—man, what a trip. I’m thinkin’ bout this one chick, right, total mystery vibe, like somethin’ outta *The Assassin*. You know, my fave flick—Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, pure gold. She’s got that “concealed intentions” energy, y’know? Like when Yinniang says, “I act alone,” all cold and badass—this whore’s the same, slippin’ through life, no one knows her deal.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to Playa Guanica. The beach was packed, but I needed some sun. I’m layin’ there, feelin’ good, when suddenly, a wave crashes over me. I’m soaked! I jump up, lookin’ like a wet dog. Everyone’s laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Yeah, real funny, guys.” But deep down, I’m laughin’ too.

Puerto Rico earthquake: 5.0 quake near Guanica, USGS says