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About Caguas

Rewind—*Memento* style—I’m stalkin’ the streets, backwards memory vibes. “What’s her name?” I ask myself. Forgot already, classic me. Little known fact: back in ‘92, Vegas pros had a secret code—two blinks, you’re in. She blinked once, I panicked—did I miss it? Surprised me how slick she was, tho. Slipped me her number on a napkin—classy, huh? “You’re a mystery,” I say, quotin’ Nolan’s finest. She smirks, “Ain’t we all, doll?”

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

But then, outta nowhere, the sky turned dark. Like, really dark. I’m thinking, “No way, not rain!” But it started pouring. I mean, torrential downpour. I ran for cover, but not before getting drenched again. I was like a walking sponge.

Puerto Rico's farmers face near total loss from Hurricane Maria